It feels like forever I wrote here last. Since the arrival of my BFF Karina to Vancouver I have not been able to sneak into my office to even look at my computer. There has been a lot of catching up in and outside of the house, and between juggling housework and mommyhood literally leaves no time to a tiny peak into my techy hobbies.

Every time she comes to visit me she reminds me of my past years when we used to go out and dance until the club closes, when we used to talk about the latest in fashion and chisme of my back home community over coffee. She reminds me of my lost freedom -jumping out of bed and leave the house to see where the day would take us while living la vida loca, no prep no planning, just go.

For the longest time I was like the “old” or “mature” friend to her. For goodness sake, I am 5 years older than her and I have known her since she was 18, so “fuck her”. I keep telling her that I am not OLD. Anyway, she had this idea of me being old (we already discussed that earlier) ever since I decided to settle down at a very young age. And to be honest, for someone that keeps living la vida loca like her, anyone settling down would be old beside them.

See, regardless of my marital status and the way my lifestyle shifted over time I was okay with it. The short weeks she visited me were not significant to really make a deep impact in my self-esteem. I still had freedom to go out and had a great time, it was not like I was incarcerated by my husband. I could literally just wake up and jump out of the house with no plan at all. I could be outside with out any concern about the time. I could walk as fast as I can or as far as I wanted and be back home in a matter of minutes. I had no other one to look after but me.  I was a non-baby girl.

Big expectations were built by both of us with this visit – resuscitation of our past experiences seemed to be on the table. To my surprise she is not the party girl she used to be and to hers I am not the on-the-go kind of girl either. Bummer.

She came here to relax. A lot of stress was her common denominator for almost everything in her life right now. Running a business for the first time while keeping her day time job, which already is stressful enough as it is, were the subject of a lot of conversation topics. And me, well, a baby might not be a plan for some before they are born, but once they are a living specie the days of “what’s next?” are over unless they are baby-related tasks. Meals to prepare, clothes to coordinate, naps to schedule and playing routines are the endless highlights of my non-surprising day, really, yay! All around a tiny little bugger. Oh, and then is me. Squeezing showers in her naps, eating lunch from wherever I pass by while strolling, God forbids I stop otherwise baby would go ballistic on me.

At the end of her stay, Karina looked at me as if I left something behind or very well buried and forgotten in my life and I guess no matter how old or how happy I am, a part of me misses that non-baby girl.

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