Back in 2005, when I was learning that my condition was called Social Anxiety, I joined several forums about Mental disorders. In one of the most active forums I got to read and learn a lot from their members. This forum had a place for almost everyone and under a folder called Anxiety, I got to meet one character that a first was scary, but slowly became fascinating, his nickname was Fox and he was a sociopath.

Watching Dexter, Season 8, Episode 2: “Every Silver Lining”, inspired me of this post.

Vogel tells Dex her theory on psychopaths, and it’s an interesting one. She says “psychopaths are a gift of nature, not a mistake” and calls them “alpha wolves” who “help the human race survive long enough to become civilized” and that “without psychopaths, mankind would not exist today.”

Although, Mr. Fox was not as per definition a psychopath (which both are often used interchangeably by specialists) he was able to provide valuable information to feel like we were talking to one.

As I read this forum daily, Mr. Fox (and I assumed it was a He based on a story of him as father, but really, you never know if that shit is real), was dry, blunt, a not-sugar-coating person or as other people would say  rude.

Fox would go on and on as to why our kind (people with anxiety) should not exist; we are weak and unable to survive. One of his most famous debates in there was around the idea of babies and children who survive accidents are worth their existence more over those who didn’t survive.

In that forum he had his own thread, kind of over-shinning the rest of the threads if you ask me. He was always there, day after day, answering to his new admirers and any other curious minds. People tip-toed asking him questions, which were most of the time very personal. I don’t really know why these people seemed afraid of asking him questions. It’s not like he knew where they lived and suddenly show up there to kill them. Perhaps, they didn’t want to scare him away? Maybe they found him as valuable as I was.

While I understand that text can be misinterpreted, some members overused the emotion on their words and Mr. Fox wasn’t afraid to point that out.

• Members tended to apologize too much to him if he misunderstood something.
• Members used smiley icons (emoticons) almost in every reply to reflect they were discussing in a friendly manner

Doesn’t this ring a bell in our lives? I found this fascinating. I often notice the people who are mean are usually the ones that get treated nicer. I don’t get it, and yet, it starts making sense after learning a lot from Mr Fox.

No emotions and no remorse. Such a powerful skill any person who suffers of anxiety disorders wishes to possess, to at least a manageable level.

I was getting so much insight into how he was, how his thoughts were created and how his behaviour was around others. He was sharing and I was eager to learn as much as I could of what it was like to be…him. In a nutshell, Mr. Fox had a daughter, who he could only describe as feeling ‘loyal’ to her instead of feeling love. He wouldn’t hesitate to kill for her if someone ever hurt her. Mr. Fox was divorced – I guess that is one of the side effects of not being able to feel emotions, especially love. Mr. Fox’s mom was a sociopath too, who he also felt loyal to her.

The more I read from Mr Fox, the more I learned of his actions, I started to think people with complete control of their emotions were more likely to achieve success easier or faster in life. And if not at all smart or good at what they do, at the very least be able to stand up for themselves and keep annoyance under control.

Disclosure: No animals were killed in the making of this post.